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The (Un)Certainties of Domestic Violence

There are a lot of unknowns and uncertainties today. Just look at the things that are studied by quantum mechanics (e.g., the way in which light or energy behaves). However, the one thing that we do know for certain is that the environment around us plays a huge role in forming the person we become. In fact, some would even go so far as to say that repeated exposure to something will make us unawareness of a different reality.


For those of us who've been abused, this is definitely true. Scientific studies have been conducted demonstrating how our brain chemistry has changed. However, if you ask any of us whether we notice these changes most of us will tell you that we don't. In short, we feel as though we've changed as a person because of our experience but we don't feel like the experience has changed us physically.


This is interesting to note because many of us who have been through domestic abuse now require some type of therapy at the very least. During that therapy many of us are diagnosed with PTSD. This means that there's something wrong with our brain (NOT with us as a person however, please take a moment to understand the difference here). Our brains will then need chemicals for the rest of their lives so that they can function as what society sees as "normal." (Normal is relevant because no two people think or act alike regardless of society's norms.)


So, really the only certainty that comes from domestic abuse is the certainty that our brains have changed. The rest is just as uncertain as "normal" itself. While we may not even notice any of these things about ourselves, it's important that we do. We must take a moment to look around at our environment and realize that many of the things that we now do or say may need to be challenged because they're unhealthy. If you find this to be true, I encourage you not to only accept your new reality but grow through it in a healthy way by finding a therapist to help you. If they suggest medication, don't be afraid of it...


Medication is like a cane/crutch - not in a bad way so please hear me out. This does NOT mean that you're using it to have an excuse for unhealthy living. However, what it means is that you're using it to help you survive and thrive in the reality as you and you alone know it to be. Besides getting therapy, if you're offered medication, I encourage you to take it. It'll help you in your healing process and this really is all a process of finding a new reality that works for you regardless of what anybody else may say or think.

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